“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“It’s a filthy Aboriginal!”

No, I’m just having some fun with you. It’s me, C.H. Dalton, and this week I’d like to talk a little bit about jokes.

Some people think that race and racism aren’t funny. These touchy people—mostly minorities and homosexuals—think that we shouldn’t make light of the discrimination and hatred that pervade our society. Well to them, I say: “grow up, Jew!”

Racialist jokes have been part of American culture since its very inception. For example, there’s this bon mot from the Federalist Papers:

Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Because air is free.

And not long after, Francis Scott Key wrote this priceless paradox into his “Star-Spangled Banner”:

“The biggest Jewish dilemma? Free ham.”

I believe he rhymed it with “Uncle Sam.”

Some people object to ethnic humour because they’re unfamiliar with it, or because they’ve only heard bad racist jokes. For these unfortunate souls, I recommend a trip to your local library or Klan headquarters to sample one of the many popular race-specific joke books available for browsing.

Others think that racist humour is too “easy,” and that it reductively singles out only one stereotype about a culture, like “Jews are parsimonious,” or “the Irish are drunks.” But that’s simply not true. Good ethnic jokes take advantage of many different stereotypes for their subject matter. For example:

Q: What's three miles long and has an IQ of 63?
A: A Saint Patrick's Day Parade.

It’s fresh and unexpected, because it reminds us that the Irish are simpletons and Catholics, in addition to being alcoholics.

To ignore the role of humour in our country’s history would be to ignore the very heart of our national soul. These jokes aren’t cruel, or racist—they’re patriotic, in addition to being cruel and racist. That is the history of America, for better or worse. After all:

Q: What would you call what happened to the Injuns when we came to this country?
A: Getting maize-holed.

See?

Well, that’s all for this missive—make sure to come back next week for a ethno-nationalist defense of Helen Keller jokes.