Hello again. C.H. Dalton here. I’m sorry I can’t write more often than once a week, but in addition to my course load and my research schedule, I’m currently recuperating from measles, mumps, and rubella. It seems I shouldn’t have taken that particular vaccine quite so lightly.

But my houseboy, Lin-Manuel, has brought a laptop computer to my sickbed, and he is typing this for me as I go.

I hope you’ve been enjoying the online lectures I’ve been posting for your edification—viewing them is good for course credit in ethnography here at the Institute, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. I’ve already received several offers to lecture on all-white cruise ships throughout the North Atlantic.

This week, I’d like to address what I see as a disturbing trend: same-sex miscegenation. Miscegenation has been a legally recognized fact of life in this country for tens of years (and God bless Alabama for holding out as long as it did), but it’s come to my attention that more and more young men and women are coupling with other members of the same sex who are members of different races.

Whether it be male “rice queens” who long for the power balance of a heterosexual relationship with a submissive woman, but find women sexually unattractive, or those nancy boys who like nothing more than to be dominated physically by a big, strong black man, homosexuals everywhere are dipping into the forbidden tide pool of interracial courtship.

They may call it “love,” but nothing is more abominable in the eyes of God than when a dreadlocked white lesbian scissors with her dreadlocked black lesbian life-partner on their coarse, hemp blankets. These sick, unnatural couples must be stopped before they pollute our children and our gene pool with their unholy union. Don’t ask how—they’ll find a way.

I encourage all my readers to lobby their congressmen to introduce a constitutional amendment banning interracial same-sex marriage. They have one in Indonesia, and the institution of gay marriage is stronger there than anywhere else in the world. (You can look it up on Conservapedia.)

That’s all for this week. May God bless you and keep you, and may He prevent you from giving in to your sinful, all-consuming desires. Good day.